Veins for vampires

Last Thursday Mr David Lewis inserted a Portacath into the top right hand corner of my left boob (he has a more technical description of its location) and ran a tiny tube from there up under my skin to my neck where the end of tube is inserted into a big mambo vein. All the needling will soon end and this permanent sealed -under -the-surface entry plug will allow injections in and out with minimum fuss.


Mr Lewis: "I'll run the line from the port over the subclavicular bone around the neckosaurus minor and drop it back into the Kournikovical. I'll have to make an incision on your very large(well compared to the thin red line masquerading on the right) left breast that will leave a permanent scar of about three centimetres. I have two choices of where to make the incision around your neck. This is a mere nick, a bagatelle of a scalpel mark if you will. I can either use your claviconimiscus vein or..."


Me: (silently to self only) I know how this is going to end.


Mr Lewis: ...."I can go for the jugular!"


Drum roll please. How delicious is our language? Poor Mr Lewis had toothache the night before the op. and wasn't up for my lengthy exploration of whether this use was indeed from whence the expression arose. n.t.w I was delighted. The jugular indeed.


I got to have my surgery earlier than planned thanks to some old geezer having pneumonia and being sent home. C picked me up at 4.30 still a bit groggy but at least nicely satiated with roast beef sandwiches, cheese and pineapple sandwiches, 1 bran muffin and a tub of post-op yoghurt.


C is most excellent driver and has most excellent car/truck with turbo and everything. Golly, it goes fast around corners. Has most excellent doors that open very quickly when passenger arrives home and must run inside to donate to the environment, via the local wastewater plant the aforementioned (w.o.t.w) roast beef sandwiches, cheese and pineapple sandwiches, 1 bran muffin and a tub of post-op yoghurt.


'Come up what may' might have been a better song choice.