Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Getting it all off my chest

1. If you have a company and refer to it, out loud, as something something limited, you're a dick. "I started a company called John Brown Limited." Dick. Have you ever heard a plumber call themselves John Smith Plumbing Sole Trader? Stop it.

2. If you have a company that has the same name as you, don't refer to yourself as the founder and CEO of it. "I'm Sarah Stuart, CEO and Founder of Sarah Stuart Limited." Dick.

3. If you have a company that earns no money unless you are working in it, you don't own a business, you have a job. Bless you. Respect you. Stop calling it a business.

4. If you have a business that you can't step out of for more than two weeks without it falling over, it's not a business, it's a job. Good for you for working hard and building something. But stop kidding yourself.

5. If you have a business, company, job where you provide products and services of value but  make no profit, it's not a business, it's a charity. And you're a martyr. Dick.

6. If you are reading this blog and it's firing you up because I sound judgemental and nasty, good. Change something. Get real, or stop reading. There are other blogs with rainbows and best of all, unicorns.

7. If you need help with your business, or your life, get help. I can help.

8. If you feel like the world is against you, hello. It's not against you, or for you, it just is. Lucky, unlucky. Play the best hand you can with the cards you have. Without making meaningless shit mean stuff.  Are any lottery winners deserving? Accident victims? Get up, off the floor and do something. And if, like me at my worst,  you think it's easier for people who have genuine struggles to be resilient and brave, and you wish something bad would happen to you to shake you out of your complacency, don't worry, it will. Only you won't always recognise it because it might just manifest as a vague disquiet that is so easily quashed by new shoes, an overwhelming urge to redecorate or just one more beer.

9.  If you don't know what to do about the challenges you face, wise up. You do know. You just don't like the answer. All your best advice goes to others. Dick.

10. If you don't know why lists are often number 1-10, nor do I. But I don't think it matters. What your do with your life, and your little one personal limited liability company with your name on the door, matters.