Mistletoe and whine

I'm about to start a course of mistletoe to complement the yew tree I've already had. Toxic when injected directly into the bloodstream, mistletoe will be implanted under my skin to work its magic. Already taken by 60-70% of cancer patients in Europe, mistletoe treatment in Germany is covered by health insurers. Could millions of Germans be wrong?:)

Conventional medicine prides itself on the rigorous science behind its lotions and potions but I'm less convinced than ever. Docetaxel, the chemo drug I'm currently on, was originally extracted from the yew tree and yet many in the medical community scoff at the idea that the kissing tree may be beneficial in the fight against cancer. "My tree good, your tree bad" seems to sum up the debate.

This last round of Docetaxel has been much easier on my body; partly because I know more about how I respond and adjusted my anti-nausea drugs to suit, and partly because the dosage was lower. In between my first and second injections the international treatment protocol changed. Researchers now believe that pre-menopausal women need a little less of the drug. So last time I had more poison than is now thought to be necessary. Bugger.

Chemo drugs remind me of Maxwell Smart -the world's dumbest secret agent. Cruising through the corridors of my body Docetaxel just takes aim at everything: "Oops, sorry, there goes another good guy, pow,pow, dang! another one of ours is gunned down. Oh look, there's a cancer cell - zap!" Collateral damage everywhere you look.

I've asked the complementary experts why so many of their proponents are crackpots. Like God, they can't chose their followers and sometimes the disciples give their masters a bad name. Nearly every website I've visited to research the clinical efficacy of Vitamin C, mistletoe and other natural healers details the wonders of these treatments and then goes on to rail against other evils: the conspiracy of the fake moon landing, babies being ripped from their mothers wombs by the CIA in the middle of the night for lab experiments, and my personal favourite - the decline of democracy as evidenced by the election of Obama. Who are these people and how do they get their three brain cells to stay in alignment long enough to type?

The source of medicine, whether complementary or conventional is fascinating. Herceptin is stolen from innocent mice and sometimes Chinese hamsters. Given that nearly all medicine is tested on animals, what do vegetarians take for cancer? Perhaps eating all those leafy greens prevents them getting it in the first place.

I've posted a photo so you'll recognise me next time we pass in the street. If you feel the urge to kiss me, it's not just because I'm such a foxy baldy - it'll be the mistletoe.